Sleepover Spaz Style (How to... Untangle Round Hair Brush)

LadyB:

 So Spaz had her first sleepover this weekend. It was... Interesting.

‎‎JayGoo:

 LOL - Did you have it at your place?

‎‎LadyB:

 Hell no! I'm not crazy! She went to a friend's house. There were three little girls total. She had a blast. They went out to pizza and ice cream, stayed up late and overall things went smoothly until about 15 minutes before I picked her up then… CATASTROPHE!

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JayGoo:

 Oh noooo... That is the thing it is ALWAYS something, LOL

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LadyB:

 I walked in the door and there was my daughter looking like something had nested in her hair. Well turns out she decided to try and "curl" her hair with one of those dreaded round hairbrushes. Well curl it she did, in every which way you can imagine and wrapped it all up around that stupid ass brush.

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JayGoo:

 Oh nooooo.... I hate those brushes and can only imagine the damage she had done to her hair/head....

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LadyB:

 After numerous attempts at trying to remove the damn thing I decided a trip to the salon was in order being that the brush was at her roots I was really feeling horrible thinking that miss Spaz maybe rocking a buzz cut and I didn't want it to be at my hand.

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JayGoo:

 Man... She did get the brush in there deep. All the way to the roots is intense. Poor Spaz it had to hurt as well as be uncomfortable

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LadyB:

 Yea she said it was starting to hurt to have the brush dangling around back there. So we loaded up in the car and headed over to the salon and I promised her she could get a couple bright colored feather extensions with her new haircut. She was actually pretty excited about her trip to the salon and I was mildly irritated but somewhat amused. Upon arrival she plopped down in the chair and the hair girl’s eyes got big. She just examined for a couple minutes and hmmed, she didn't want to cut it at the roots (THANK GOD!). She ended up getting a pick comb and slowly picking the hair out of the brush bit by bit. Not only did it work but Spaz had the best tease job EVER, those Jersey Shore girls would be envious!

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‎‎JayGoo:

 I bet she was beyond surprised at how tangled the hair was... At least she was able to get it out without having to chop a chunk of her hair out.

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LadyB:

 You are telling me! My heart would have broken if they had to chop her hair off. So after that drama she got a styling haircut and some multicolored feathers and she is feeling pretty awesome. I think I actually caught her blowing herself kisses in the mirror this morning (yeash). Proof that a trip to the salon can make any lady feel better.

I Cry, I Cry... for Milk

JayGoo:

 I have to tell you the cutest thing that happened last night

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LadyB:

 Awww I love cute stuff let’s hear it

‎‎JayGoo:

 It was bedtime and like usual I tuck Buddy and Destroyer into bed with kisses/hugs the whole bit and within 5 mins of closing the door Destroyer comes into my room holds his empty bottle up and in his little manly voice says, “milk” (yes yes I know he is 2 and is still on the bottle, we are taking it 1 step at a time first the binky now the bottle is next to go) so I give in and tell him 1 more and that’s it. So I fill it up and put him back to bed and shut the door...

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LadyB:

 Lol okay

‎‎JayGoo:

 Maybe 10 minutes later he comes back out and a repeat performance begins, “milk”. "Nope sorry honey no more tonight, now let’s get back in bed". He replies, "but I cry" trying my hardest not to smile I tell him, “I know honey but you have had enough" but, “I cry mom I cry" we of course have to make a pit stop at Drama Princesses room to give her kisses and she of course asks, "what’s wrong?” "I cry sissy I cry". After a hug and kiss from sister we head back to bed. Just to tuck him in and he says, "I cry" so I ask, "You okay hun?" “I okay but I cry, I cry mommy I cry.”

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LadyB:

 Oh poor Destroyer he was very emotional... He wanted to get his drink on

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JayGoo:

 So I give in and tell him ok honey do you want some of mommies special milk? "Ya". So we head to the kitchen I fill up the bottle (with my low calorie Almond Milk) and we walk back to bed. Once he is tucked in and warm he takes a sip. Immediately followed by, "EWWW that’s Nastee, Nastee - No milk, no bottle, I go nigh nigh". He did not get out of bed after that.

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LadyB:

 Oh jeez!!! So he isn't down with low cal living? What’s wrong with that kid? Hahaha What a cutie!

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JayGoo:

 This morning he made sure to mention it to his dad as they were getting ready for the day. I cry daddy I cry I need my bottle I cry. LOL - He is quite the emotional child when it comes to his bottle...

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LadyB:

 Yea good luck weaning him off the bottle. Sounds like a fun project.

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JayGoo:

 Most definitely... Funny thing is I am going to attempt to start tonight... Since it is the weekend...

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LadyB:

 Good luck

Boogers are Mucus(myoo-kuss)

JayGoo:

 So Spaz just let me in on a little family secret

‎‎LadyB:

 Uh oh what?

‎‎JayGoo:

 LOL - I informed her that she had some boogers and she might want to wipe them up. So to grab a Kleenex

 She then responds ya I don't want to eat my boogers like my dad does, LOL

‎‎LadyB:

 That is so gross. She is convinced all boys including her Dad eat their boogers.

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JayGoo:

 I said oh ya and she goes well I really was the one who ate my boogers I just didn’t want to tell you. But I don't do that anymore that was when I was little.

 But my Dad does pick his nose and wipe it on our couch every day.

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LadyB:

 Well that is sick. I will check my couch when I get home. Maybe time for a good cleaning.

Insane in the Membrane

LadyB:

 So you know I started those new meds for my headaches and I swear I’m losing my mind! I think I actually forgot my own name the other day well anyways something really embarrassing happened this morning.

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JayGoo:

 OMG - What happened now? LOL

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LadyB:

 So I was rushing around getting myself and both kids ready for the day. We were about ready to leave but I couldn't find the shoes I wanted to wear! I had already looked everywhere inside the house so I went outside to look in our shoe box on the front porch.

 So I carry Crash out with me to help me on my shoe hunt and of course Spaz follows us out. I tell her DO NOT CLOSE THE FRONT DOOR. So she doesn't. About a minute into my shoe search I hear thud. I look up in disbelief to see that Spaz had just slammed the front door shut and... It’s locked with my keys and cell phone in the HOUSE! I’m thinking oh fudge muncher what now and because I'm not thinking very rationally at this point I’m thinking it is pretty much the end of the world. I get pretty upset and I’m not proud of it but do yell at Spaz a bit... "Why the heck did you shut the door?" "What are we going to do now?" "AHHH!" Oh jeez not one of my finer moments...

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JayGoo:

 Oh no... Not the best way to start your morning at all but I do have to say I can totally see that being me and my trio... Always doing what we tell them not too.

 LadyB:

 Once I stopped for a moment I realized that I had neighbors and I could probably use a phone to call Mr.B! What a great idea. Sooo... I stroll over to this nice older couple’s house and the wife opens the door as I approach. At this moment I have the oh shit thought of this women was probably watching me go batshit crazy on my kid. So she is nice enough to let me use her phone to call Mr.B. I then proceed to profusely thank her and go on and on about ugh what a horrible day and then I say... "I swear these new meds the doctor has me on are making me crazy"

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JayGoo:

 LOL - I can only imagine what is going through her mind at that moment, LOL

‎‎LadyB:

 So Mr.B saves the day and I drive off to work and it isn't until I am on the way to work that I think wow did I really tell my neighbor my meds are making me crazy??? She probably thinks I’m a Schizophrenic. FML.

 So I tell Mr.B if you see our neighbors please tell them I’m not really crazy... Not clinically.

Don't Cry Over Spilled Juice

JayGoo:

 So last night we were all sitting down to dinner when Drama Princess and Buddy were playing around at the kitchen table. After telling them repeatedly to stop messing around or you are going to spill your dinner and/or drinks and you will be cleaning that up with your own clothes. Buddy continued to mess around (pushing his plate back and forth, laughing, joking and playing) and spills his entire cup of red juice on himself, his dinner, the table, chair and floor.

 Can you guess what I did???

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LadyB:

 Well you probably went ape shit... I would have been pretty upset. They sure can push your buttons can't they?

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JayGoo:

 They sure can... They sure don't seem to learn not unless you follow through.

 I was so upset with him that I proceeded to make good on my consequence for messing around at the table. I walked over to him and picked him up and GENTLY  plunked him down on to the kitchen floor and started cleaning up the mess with his pants he of course was still in them. All the while Drama Princess was sitting there in disbelief as I am not always one to follow through on my threats of punishment

 I can almost guarantee that they will not mess around at the kitchen table again.

‎‎LadyB:

 Bwhaha - Yeah that is definitely one way to teach table manners. What did Bear say about your Renegade Mothering Skills?

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JayGoo:

 Bear was shocked at first but did say it was about time that I followed through on their punishment for bad behavior. I do have to say that punishment was learned as a child from my Grandma. I cannot remember how many times as a child I was threaten with "if you spill that I am going to clean it up with your britches", LOL - If only Grandma could have seen that

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LadyB:

 Grandma would be proud

Sometimes Karma Hits You in the Face Like a Pile of Shit

LadyB:

  So the other night I was going to have dinner with a girlfriend and Mr.B agreed to watch the kiddos. I had them up to the table for dinner when Mr.B came home from work and I told him Crash would need a bath when he was done with dinner and that I was gonna head out. He proceeded to huff and puff and groan about why couldn't I give him a bath before I left... So what did I do? I gave him a bath! Of course I did, I'm a good Mom, duh! Soooo... I stripped Crash and he held onto the side of the tub while I ran a bath for him. Well apparently dinner was slipping through him pretty quick because before I knew it the poor little guy had shat all over the bathroom rug and his clean bath towel. Well... Of course I screamed for Mr.B to come help.

‎‎JayGoo:

  OMG LOL... What a great way to start the evening

‎‎LadyB:

  So Mr.B comes in and looks down in disgust and I was like yup he did that. Please take care of it while I bathe him, cause remember you wanted me to do that. So he grabs the bath mat one hand on each side with the now dirty towel and the poopey in the middle and proceeds down the hall towards the laundry room. Well as you know Mr.B is inherently clumsy and always seems to be injuring himself or getting into some kind of sticky situation. While on his journey to the laundry room he managed to trip over only god knows what (I'm guessing his own two feet) and face plants it into the pile of poo-poo. He turns around and walks back into the bathroom with Crash doodoo from his eyebrow all the way INTO his nose. Literally he had to blow it out of his nose.

‎‎JayGoo:

  OMG LOL!!!! He faced planted in the poo, LOL - You are killing me. That is definitely what he gets for not bathing Crash, LOL

  I guess he didn't grasp the concept that folding the poo towel in half would have been the best thing to do... LOL - Only something Mr.B would do...

‎‎LadyB:

  Needless to say I couldn't stop laughing and I have to assume this might have something to do with karma. I agree he should have just given the kid a bath, proof Karma does exist.

Just Another Day at the Office

JayGoo:

  Since VanillaGorilla ate his lunch here he sprayed our bathroom spray around the office to rid the pizza smell and I told him. BossMan is not going to like that, that spray is too strong we are only supposed to use half a spray max. Well as soon as BossMan got here he turned on all bathroom fans and finally asked me if "someone" had used the rest room and if they did, how many sprays did they use, LOL – I think he thought I poop bombed the bathroom, lol

LadyB:

  OMG! Did you tell him what had really happened? Whys he trying to poopotage you?

‎‎JayGoo:

  Yeah, I told him it was because of the pizza and the smell, LOL - I know he was totally poopotaging me.

LadyB:

  Did he not want BossMan to know he was eating? Was he sneak eating? Cause I think the pizza delivery girl gave it away.

‎‎JayGoo:

 I know huh... I don't know what he was trying to cover up, maybe he crop dusted his desk and didn't want me to know.

‎‎LadyB:

Oh, now it all makes since...

Meet the Bitches

LadyB & Her Crew

LadyB: I am a twenty-something mother, wife and businesswomen.  Obsessed with fashion, fitness, healthy eating and of course all things sparkly. I am competitive, I hold grudges and frankly I'm not perfect but hey... I'm me and that's all I can be!

Mr.B: He is my high school sweetheart and father to my children. Mr.B is hilarious and is constantly making me laugh sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally just by being his clumsy/goofy self. I’m lucky to have such a special man in my life but of course just like any man he can be a real thorn in my side sometimes. 

Spaz: This one gives me a run for my money just about every day. She is so spirited and full of attitude, I truly think she maybe a reincarnation of…. ME(urgh). I am constantly taken back to the moment I told my Dad that I was having a girl after the ultrasound and he said paybacks a bitch. My 7 year old Spaz is constantly singing and dancing her way around the house and into the heart of anyone she meets.

Crash: Be still my heart, this Momma loves her lil boy and I’m pretty sure his Momma is his favorite person ever! At the ripe age of 1 all the mischief he gets into is still considered pretty cute and unfortunately he seems to be following in his Dad’s footsteps of getting himself into tight situations and not always coming out unscathed.

Fluffy: Haha, well not really. He is my hairless dog. A little under a year old he tends to get in all kinds of puppy trouble.

JayGoo & Her Crew

JayGoo: Me… I am in my mid-twenties, married to my high school sweet heart and have 3 beautiful children. I work hard at everything that I do from work to being a mother. I love everything girlie and my all-time favorite color is PINK!!! You can never have too much pink My plan with this blog is to show that every mother has their moments (we are not perfect no matter how hard we strive to be) with their husbands and children that we would rather not remember nor tell anyone about as we often think that we are the only ones this stuff happens to. The thought is to remind all of us that everyone is human and that you are not the only one out there who has experienced those moments of frustration, anger and of course humiliation. Because the truth is all of those moments that at the time we didn’t find funny really are funny when you step back and look at it a second time.  

Drama Princess: is a perfect personality mix of both her father and I making her into the drama princess that she is. She is independent, full of life and energy and very dramatic and has no problem letting the world know it. She is into fashion, friends and just being a 9 year old girl.

Buddy: Is just that my little buddy. He is my sensitive, loving, caring and happy 5 ½ year old.  Buddy is very laid back and for the most part calm, cool and collected. He is full of energy and life but he prefers hanging around with mom cooking, cleaning or watching TV over running around with his friends. He is definitely my momma’s boy.

Destroyer: He is my little monster – a very hard headed, stubborn, I do what I want 2 year old ... He leaves a path of destruction everywhere he goes.  A walking, talking, eating, destroying machine, as I like to call him.  He looks up to his dad but his sister has the key to his heart. He sure loves that girl and misses her like mad when she is not around.

Bear: Hard to put him into a small paragraph. He is a hard working husband and father. He runs his own business (with my help of course) but always seems to make time for his family. We have our ups and downs like any marriage would but we are definitely in it for the long haul. I honestly can’t really imagine my life without him.

Sir barks a lot: The family dog. Who is constantly full of energy, attitude and love. Bear and he don’t see eye to eye as they both want to be the household alpha, LOL